- It was midnight, as Will was climbing the rocky wall at the park. He was trying to reach the top so that he could gaze at the beautiful moon.
- It was midnight, as Will climbed the rocky wall at the park, trying to reach the top to gaze at the beautiful glowing moon.
Here is me and Sebastian work that we did the first sentence that we write original one and the 2nd one is our draft one (Delete, Rearrange, Add, Fix, Talk).
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